Don't Be a Beauty Bully: Lessons from Facebook

click image to zoomThe cut that sparked the dialogue... While at a beauty show or industry event, I like to look around and snap photos of hair—not just of the styles showcased at exhibitors' booths, but also of the attendees' appearances.

Today, I met Elizabeth Griffin, of Michael Angelo Hair Studio—and she caught my attention because she was rocking—I mean ROCKING!—a blonde, side-swept style with a shaved side. Now, I understand this isn't anything ground-breaking (one look at the 1980s and of course we've seen this style before), but this woman was ROCKING it with her pink lips, dark brows and long feathered earrings.

The best part about her look? Confidence.

When I posted her image on MODERN's Facebook, hundreds and hundreds of you commented... some praising Elizabeth for taking a risk, and many others were negative, saying they didn't like her look, or "been there done that..."

The point is, when you take a risk and allow your image to be shared (not just of your own look, but also of work you've created on a model or client), it's a RISK, you're putting yourself and your work out there—and you should NOT feel nervous about sharing, especially in an industry-related environment.

I have no problems with feedback that explains how you, as a professional, would put your own twist on a look to improve it, or explain how it could have been executed differently—but when negativity is involved in a comment, with a potential to hurt someone's feelings or self image, why bother? What do you gain from hurting someone's feelings? Not only that, but you're potentally discouraging others from sharing their work. Please, please, please don't do that!

When I posted a note, following the posts about Elizabeth's hair, reminding our Facebook audience to please use "your professional voices" when commenting, nearly 600 people (so far) have hit "like," dozens of comments have rolled in, and people are speaking out against being a Beauty Bully.

In fact, one Facebook fan, Try Serino wrote: "The difference between critique and criticism:

* Criticism finds fault/Critique looks at structure

* Criticism looks for what's lacking/critique finds what's working

* Criticism condemns what it doesn't understand/critique asks for clarification

* Criticism is spoken with a cruel wit and sarcastic tongue/critique's voice is kind, honest, and objective

* Criticism is negative/critique is positive (even about what isn't working)

* Criticism is vague and general/critique is concrete and specific