Slow Friending

Speed dating to find a life-long love was paradoxical enough, but now the youngest generation thinks e-mail isn't fast enough. What gets lost in the velocity is the true connection, which is why slow cooking is reigniting a love relationship with healthy meals, slow breathing calms us and the Slow Movement encourages us to downshift.

I say, let's return to "slow friending!"

It's the only way we can relate, recall, revisit and rejoice.

That's what I did recently, dining with Steven Henley, senior director of education for PureOlogy Serious Colour Care, Joico director of communications Pat O'Keefe and Joico director of education Angelia Polsinelli. We met at the marvelously monikered Muse Hotel in NYC, where we meditated on ideas that could only come from face time.

Pat O'Keefe, me, Steven Henley and Angelia Polsinelli

The relationships we forge and maintain in this industry will always eclipse the Facebook "friend" button, the "post" made on the fly. And as they compound, they lead to newer, stronger connections. Consider: all the miles, meetings, plans, products, programs, decisions, successes and losses that came and went through our lives brought my friends and I to the Muse Hotel, where our real-world connections were further forged, because we had much to share, and because we had old-fashioned, low-tech, history.

Try this:
Count your Facebook friends, then count your "slow friends." With which ones can you enjoy the same thing I did at the Muse Hotel? Which can you turn to in a crisis?

Are there "slow friends" who would have made a night like mine at the Muse miserable? If so, let them go. While you're at it, drop everything else that aggravates you in your life, including fast-becoming-useless attitudes, thoughts, words, clothes, hair styles and clients. Spring may be the prime time for serious cleansing, but I say that along with "slow friends," we need leisurely fall clearance, too. Once it's over, we've seasoned our lives for the real spice-the slow-cooking kind that simmers sweetly.

Free of the fakes, we can be grateful for all those people, places, decisions, gains and losses that lead to today, and go forward into the dawn. And we can put aside the rush of business interests and concerns, and break to celebrate our forever friends-the slow ones, who may be our current competitors, but remain in our lives for a reason. They decelerated long enough to earn the right to be there.

About Ann Mincey
For 35 years, Ann Mincey's training programs have helped beauty professionals reduce stress, refuel creativity, open their hearts and enrich their lives. As one of the first women to teach motivation, inspiration, confidence and well-being, Ann worked for Redken 5th Avenue NYC, where she advanced to Vice President of Global Communications before recently retiring. She remains a spokesperson for the brand, in addition to developing her own speaking and enrichment business. Having been recognized with numerous leadership awards and philanthropic honors, Ann is a sought-after public speaker and author of "Get Glowing! You are a Star Right Where You Are!". She can be booked through Equanimity, Inc. speakers' agency (equanimity.com). Salon industry inquiries should be made to amincey@redken.com.