Recently, I shared an emotional coffee break with a single hairdresser Mom. She shared how tough it is to deny her kids what most others seem to take for granted, “You always feel you are not doing a good job with your kids; I feel emotionally drained at home and then take care of salon clients—exhausting. I haven’t had a problem paying for my kids’ tuition or paying rent, but when things like vacations or new back-to-school clothes come up, I don’t know what to do or say.”
I don’t have kids, so, I called on a few single Moms whose kids are all grown up for advice. Here’s what they said:
“It’s not a level playing field for single parents, nonetheless, focus on what you can do for your kids— guide them to understand that caring for them is so much more than just surface stuff—like being there, accepting them, being dependable, feeling safe and secure—you know the drill. It’s tempting to keep your kids from knowing about your financial challenges—don’t do it. This backfires and is interpreted as an unwillingness to bring them happiness.”
“I used my inability to buy extras for my kid to teach how everyone is different and still so cool—some tall, some short, and some have more resources, but everyone has something cool about them. I tried to spot and develop my kid’s talents and remind them that others don’t have the same ability. You have to overcome inequities by showing kids where they have a leg up in life.”
“Have an honest chat about budgeting that will be helpful for them down the line. Pick the right moment, because if you talk to them when they are asking for something, they will be stubborn and not open to understanding. Pick a safe moment when you can just chat about life. Teaching your kids how to live within their means is an incredibly valuable lesson. If kids understand their reality, they become adults who do the same”
You have my profound admiration. Imagine me giving you a hug right about now--want it or not. I have a sneaky suspicion your attitude to keep going while juggling a career and a home might be the most valuable lesson. By showing your kids that life challenges will happen and can be faced, you provide lifelong encouragement to overcome their own.
You go girl.
You got this.
Carlos Valenzuela is a hairdresser, educator, ex-salon & school owner, author and corporate spokesperson with forty-five years of beauty expertise. His focus today is guiding salon professionals in developing a more fulfilling career & lifestyle via seminars, events and thru his blog with Modern Salon online magazine and his Tinystepspodcast
Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/carlos-valenzuela For information on Thrive programs email firstname.lastname@example.org
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