This statement is going to make me very unpopular: I don’t like kids in the salon, aside from one next to me on an airplane with an ear infection, the salon comes in a very close second. I admit, I did not breed this time around, but my sisters and nieces did, and I “got to” babysit more than I want to admit. They, of course, claim that non-breeders were invented to pick up the slack for frazzled parents. Not.

 While in New York, I witnessed a boy defacing a sign in a retail store; the young lady in charge came and gently placed her hand on the kid’s shoulder and said, “Please don’t do that.” The mother, who was at least ten feet away (you could have assumed the kid was unsupervised), went ballistic, “How dare you touch my child, who do you think you are touching my child, I am calling the police, get away.” I totally admired the young lady who stood firm and did not even blink at the screaming accusations. Instead, she said, “I am sorry, we do not allow unsupervised children on the floor--it’s dangerous to the child,” at which point the kid let out a wail like he was being electrified. Wait there’s more; I seriously looked around for the cameras. Was I being filmed for a What Would You Do segment?

 In my day, any adult could come and give me directions, instructions, or reprimands, and I best keep it to myself, because if known, I was guilty without trail and eligible for another round of penance. Has instruction on how to behave in public moved to the Bermuda Triangle? Why do parents bring their kids to the salon and sit quietly while the young one dismantles a retail shelf?

I don’t understand the new negotiation child rearing philosophy. You overhear a mother in the supermarket, “ Now Ulysses, let go of Mommy’s hair, stop kicking the groceries and put the chocolate candy back on the shelf, remember when we talked about sugar and calories? How sugar can be a baddie? Ouch, let go, let go.” What?

 My informal poll of mothers sort of backed me up. Most felt a kid doesn’t belong “free range” anywhere adults are attempting to get something done. If you are at the beach and kids run by you, who cares? But, if you are standing behind a chair with scissors, razor, electric rods, tangled cords, this qualifies as an adult trying to get something done. Go away.

 One mother asked me to look at it with a kid’s eyes. Poor dear, that was a stretch. I tried to recall my childhood, and I would never have gone with my Mom to the salon because she would have made me sit still the whole time. It took just one look from Mom. And, I was never physically touched by my parents, ever, but there were these rules.

Where did we lose that list? Come back, rules, please come back we need you.

 In the meantime, bring your kinds to the salon, if you must, keep them off any form of sugar or carbs for a 24-hour period prior and don’t forget the leash.

 Sorry, I enjoyed our friendship while it lasted.

 Carlos

Carlos Valenzuela: is a consultant, speaker, stylist, bilingual trainer, and author of i-Fabulous Salon Success, a success guide for new salon professionals.

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